Baton Rouge Breaks Ground on 4,000 Feet of Glasgow Sidewalk and Walks One Meat Pie to the Library

4,000 feet, which got one meat pie to the library.

Crews broke ground Friday on 4,000 feet of new sidewalk along Glasgow Avenue, and the first thing to use it was a meat pie that had been jumping the ditch in a sack. The concrete runs from Hyacinth Avenue to Perkins Road, on both sides of the street, with crosswalks, handicap ramps, and underground pipe where the roadside ditches sit now. City officials said the path is there so people can walk to school and the library without stepping into the mud. The pie treated the ribbon cutting as a suggestion. "I have been clearing that ditch with supper since September," said library regular Mae Guidry, thumbing a crimped edge that came through clean. "Four thousand feet is a lot of speech. I needed the first ten to be dry, and a spot to put the napkin down." Crews finished one stretch and left the next ditch open, so the pie has a sidewalk and the sweet tea still has a trench. Guidry said she will walk the new part twice before dark, once to return a book and once so the ditch can see the pie it missed.

This is satire from The Cypress Knee.